I had lunch with someone who has done the same circusy thing I am planning to do. PhD with a job and a kid. Some tips from her.
1) Courses are just for the credit. Take easy ones.
2) PhD is just for the degree. Be smart.
3) Befriend at least one full-time student, preferably a boy .
4) Do a complete research on the advisor. Pick helpful ones, not the knowledgeable ones.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Dear Ms. Slim in my office,
I .do. not. Like. You. Checking. Me. out .like .that .every time. I .speak .to .you. You have the time to work out every day for two hours in the gym and maintain your perfect figure, good for you! I don’t even envy you. What I totally detest is the way you look me up and down and the way your nose wrinkles when you see my tummy protruding out. Are you totally dumb or what? Can’t you see that I can see you checking me what, especially when I am talking to you?? If you want to feel good about yourself by making judgments on people who do not have a perfect figure, do it when you are not talking to them!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Some soul searching...
The things I want in my life right now
1) my job
2) another baby
3) pursue my PhD
So, here is the problem, with my job if I want to do my PhD, I need to do a minimum of 14 courses, with 2 courses per year, I will need 7 years just to complete the courses after which I have to pass the pre-qualifying exams and do the actual desertation!! I cannot wait 7 years to have another baby and I cannot imagine studying and working with two babies. I also am not able to not want to do my PhD. My thirst for knowledge is my motivating factor, now, who believes that?:)
Uggggg!!!! I am sooo confused!!
So, after a day of soul searching (almost, I wrote this in the morning), I am going to go with the flow:) oooh, la, la!! I am the queen of escapism.
1) my job
2) another baby
3) pursue my PhD
So, here is the problem, with my job if I want to do my PhD, I need to do a minimum of 14 courses, with 2 courses per year, I will need 7 years just to complete the courses after which I have to pass the pre-qualifying exams and do the actual desertation!! I cannot wait 7 years to have another baby and I cannot imagine studying and working with two babies. I also am not able to not want to do my PhD. My thirst for knowledge is my motivating factor, now, who believes that?:)
Uggggg!!!! I am sooo confused!!
So, after a day of soul searching (almost, I wrote this in the morning), I am going to go with the flow:) oooh, la, la!! I am the queen of escapism.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Favourite passtime
Check out sites like this and get suitably impressed and shocked..
Will make a bucket list and this will top the list.Very shallow, yup, thats me:)
B/w, must learn to hyperlink..
Will make a bucket list and this will top the list.Very shallow, yup, thats me:)
B/w, must learn to hyperlink..
Friday, September 3, 2010
Notes on my first class
Pre-class: Mid-morning, panic attack.
1) How do I get to The University? It’s in Center city and I have never driven in the city!
2) I don’t know the way. I have always, always driven only in routes that I am very, very sure of. Now, having to look into a map and drive, enough for panic attack 2!
3) Parking – The parking all around the campus would be full and even if I found one, it would have to be parallel parking! Whom am I kidding?!
Successfully, navigated through the above mentioned list. Now success is an operative word here. As I passed the exit we would generally take (when Eswar would drive, of course), had another panic attack in the car. I also see that the exit numbers were beyond what the map said. And then I see that this route takes me through , through center city and I see that the traffic is terrible! Another p attack when I think I will not reach on time. Anyways, reached on time, after many, many unsuccessful, ‘making a fool of myself parallel parking attempts’, park in a place where I can do my kind of parking , reach class in one piece and half an hour early. Hooray!!
In-class:
1) Met a geek(was spouting computer jargon as soon as he opened his mouth and had an answer for everything the Prof asked, show-off), a FOTB desi (I know, I am a snob)
2) I was tired. I should have bought a coffee before going to class. Blame it on sheer laziness. Lesson learnt.
3) I did not have a computer. The Prof had asked the students to get one in his mail. Lesson no.2: DO NOT PROCASTINATE!!! As usual, I had registered just the on the day of the course.
After-class:
1) Meet the Prof. to tell him that since I registered just that day, I do not have access to the internet (where all the information and HW is posted). He looks and sees that I already have a masters and he thinks that I should take up a higher level course. My ego is happy but my laziness is not. I will have to work hard if I take up the 3rd level course.
2) I am tired and I can feel it in my bones. Concentrating for three hours, okay two and a half is not an easy job. I remember in 2007 when Eswar would pick me up after my class, I would tell him not to talk because I had used up all my listening energy. That’s how exhausted I would be.
3) The drive back, one word, challenging – Switched on the radio, so that I don’t fall asleep and unfortunately for me they had a very interesting book reading going on. So, concentrating on the road, trying to read the map in the street lights as I am passing by, reading the street names, trying not to turn where the GPS was asking me to (luckily I saw the no turn sigh there, phew!) while listening to the radio, mighty challenging.
1) How do I get to The University? It’s in Center city and I have never driven in the city!
2) I don’t know the way. I have always, always driven only in routes that I am very, very sure of. Now, having to look into a map and drive, enough for panic attack 2!
3) Parking – The parking all around the campus would be full and even if I found one, it would have to be parallel parking! Whom am I kidding?!
Successfully, navigated through the above mentioned list. Now success is an operative word here. As I passed the exit we would generally take (when Eswar would drive, of course), had another panic attack in the car. I also see that the exit numbers were beyond what the map said. And then I see that this route takes me through , through center city and I see that the traffic is terrible! Another p attack when I think I will not reach on time. Anyways, reached on time, after many, many unsuccessful, ‘making a fool of myself parallel parking attempts’, park in a place where I can do my kind of parking , reach class in one piece and half an hour early. Hooray!!
In-class:
1) Met a geek(was spouting computer jargon as soon as he opened his mouth and had an answer for everything the Prof asked, show-off), a FOTB desi (I know, I am a snob)
2) I was tired. I should have bought a coffee before going to class. Blame it on sheer laziness. Lesson learnt.
3) I did not have a computer. The Prof had asked the students to get one in his mail. Lesson no.2: DO NOT PROCASTINATE!!! As usual, I had registered just the on the day of the course.
After-class:
1) Meet the Prof. to tell him that since I registered just that day, I do not have access to the internet (where all the information and HW is posted). He looks and sees that I already have a masters and he thinks that I should take up a higher level course. My ego is happy but my laziness is not. I will have to work hard if I take up the 3rd level course.
2) I am tired and I can feel it in my bones. Concentrating for three hours, okay two and a half is not an easy job. I remember in 2007 when Eswar would pick me up after my class, I would tell him not to talk because I had used up all my listening energy. That’s how exhausted I would be.
3) The drive back, one word, challenging – Switched on the radio, so that I don’t fall asleep and unfortunately for me they had a very interesting book reading going on. So, concentrating on the road, trying to read the map in the street lights as I am passing by, reading the street names, trying not to turn where the GPS was asking me to (luckily I saw the no turn sigh there, phew!) while listening to the radio, mighty challenging.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Me thinketh...
1) If you work hard, you should also play hard
2)Obama is an athiest. He is too rational and intelligent to believe in God.
2)Obama is an athiest. He is too rational and intelligent to believe in God.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Birth story
I wrote this in Mommy Center..
Well, all of you can afford not to write even after that threatening post from Deepti but unfortunately I cannot take the risk. I am meeting Deepti this weekend and I thought I better write in something I have been meaning to write my birth story before I forget the details and so here it goes. Krish is now 14 months but as I am trying to recollect the events of the day, it seems like such a long time.
My husband works in New York and it is a 3 hour drive from our place, one way. So, it was lucky that I woke up at 4 in the morning with a slight pain. It was very slight but it was enough for my husband to decide to not go to work that day. Now my motto in life is ‘Do not do something now that can be postponed and done latter’ and so accordingly my hospital bag was not packed and along the same line, I had some work that I had to complete before I went and delivered a baby. By 6 in the morning, the pain intensity had increased but the interval was still long. So, in this interval I sat with the laptop trying to finish work that unfortunately could not be postponed anymore, all the while giving instructions to my husband about what to put into my hospital bag (but honestly, the only thing I finally needed and used were my bathroom slippers and the dress to come back home in).
The interval kind of shortened and then we left to the hospital around 10 (there was also some bad time that we had to cross, my in-laws were there and so you see no arguing there). It’s around a 40 minute drive to the hospital and as were driving, I kept thinking how the next time I am on this road, the baby would be out and with me. So anyhow, we reach the hospital and I go walking in and seeing me the nurse predicted that it could be false pain. Sign, I should have come in a wheel chair. They monitored and checked me and since I had not dilated much, they decided that the baby was not coming anytime soon and that I should go home. And so went back home on the very same streets I thought I would be coming with a baby the next time I remember speaking to my mom on the way back home and she was quite shocked that they wouldn’t admit me in. The concept of limited hospital beds, insurance etc. did not mean much to her. However, on the way back I realized that my pain was increasing in intensity. Now, the doctor in the hospital had told us that I may take from a couple of days(minimum) to a couple of weeks(my due date was anyway a couple of weeks away) and they also told us not to come back until the pain interval was less than 4 minutes apart . My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had also arrived by the time we reached home. My pain slowly started getting worse and unbearable in the afternoon. But we did not want to go back to the hospital because the doctor was so confident about it not happening anytime soon and obviously the doctors know it better!
I can still picture my bedroom, I am trying to sit, walk, sleep, anything to make the pain a little better, my husband and BIL timing my pain, my MIL and SIL massaging my back and walking with me. Given a choice, ladies, please have an epidural. I wanted to have one! I could and still cannot understand when people say they do not want to have one. I am still so cheesed off by the fact that in this 21st century, having the option of not having to go through the excruciating pain of childbirth, I went through it!:) The previous day, I had my appointment with my gynic and she had told me that my effacement was more than 90%. My guess is they only considered my dilation and did not take my effacement into the picture when I went to the hospital. From what I understood in the birthing class, both the dilation and effacement have to happen. A lot of times the dilation happens and it takes a while to reach the 100% effacement. But in my case, I think I started dilating pretty quickly in the afternoon and since I had completed 100% effacement, I was directly into the pushing stage.
By 4 in the evening, the pain had passed and I was at the pushing stage. We then rushed to the hospital. I asked my BIl to drive the car and asked my husband to sit with me in the back in case I delivered! As I had mentioned earlier, it is a 40 minute drive to the hospital and I did not think I could last that long. I should thank my BIL for getting me to the hospital in a record time by breaking all speed limits and skipping a couple of traffic signals! My water broke in the car. Krish was born 10 minutes after we reached the hospital! He was almost a car baby.
I remember the nurse in the birthing class telling all of us, mostly first time moms how the delivery is the easy part, what comes latter is the challenging phase. And fourteen months into this roller-coaster ride, where no two days are the same, I so agree with her.
Well, all of you can afford not to write even after that threatening post from Deepti but unfortunately I cannot take the risk. I am meeting Deepti this weekend and I thought I better write in something I have been meaning to write my birth story before I forget the details and so here it goes. Krish is now 14 months but as I am trying to recollect the events of the day, it seems like such a long time.
My husband works in New York and it is a 3 hour drive from our place, one way. So, it was lucky that I woke up at 4 in the morning with a slight pain. It was very slight but it was enough for my husband to decide to not go to work that day. Now my motto in life is ‘Do not do something now that can be postponed and done latter’ and so accordingly my hospital bag was not packed and along the same line, I had some work that I had to complete before I went and delivered a baby. By 6 in the morning, the pain intensity had increased but the interval was still long. So, in this interval I sat with the laptop trying to finish work that unfortunately could not be postponed anymore, all the while giving instructions to my husband about what to put into my hospital bag (but honestly, the only thing I finally needed and used were my bathroom slippers and the dress to come back home in).
The interval kind of shortened and then we left to the hospital around 10 (there was also some bad time that we had to cross, my in-laws were there and so you see no arguing there). It’s around a 40 minute drive to the hospital and as were driving, I kept thinking how the next time I am on this road, the baby would be out and with me. So anyhow, we reach the hospital and I go walking in and seeing me the nurse predicted that it could be false pain. Sign, I should have come in a wheel chair. They monitored and checked me and since I had not dilated much, they decided that the baby was not coming anytime soon and that I should go home. And so went back home on the very same streets I thought I would be coming with a baby the next time I remember speaking to my mom on the way back home and she was quite shocked that they wouldn’t admit me in. The concept of limited hospital beds, insurance etc. did not mean much to her. However, on the way back I realized that my pain was increasing in intensity. Now, the doctor in the hospital had told us that I may take from a couple of days(minimum) to a couple of weeks(my due date was anyway a couple of weeks away) and they also told us not to come back until the pain interval was less than 4 minutes apart . My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had also arrived by the time we reached home. My pain slowly started getting worse and unbearable in the afternoon. But we did not want to go back to the hospital because the doctor was so confident about it not happening anytime soon and obviously the doctors know it better!
I can still picture my bedroom, I am trying to sit, walk, sleep, anything to make the pain a little better, my husband and BIL timing my pain, my MIL and SIL massaging my back and walking with me. Given a choice, ladies, please have an epidural. I wanted to have one! I could and still cannot understand when people say they do not want to have one. I am still so cheesed off by the fact that in this 21st century, having the option of not having to go through the excruciating pain of childbirth, I went through it!:) The previous day, I had my appointment with my gynic and she had told me that my effacement was more than 90%. My guess is they only considered my dilation and did not take my effacement into the picture when I went to the hospital. From what I understood in the birthing class, both the dilation and effacement have to happen. A lot of times the dilation happens and it takes a while to reach the 100% effacement. But in my case, I think I started dilating pretty quickly in the afternoon and since I had completed 100% effacement, I was directly into the pushing stage.
By 4 in the evening, the pain had passed and I was at the pushing stage. We then rushed to the hospital. I asked my BIl to drive the car and asked my husband to sit with me in the back in case I delivered! As I had mentioned earlier, it is a 40 minute drive to the hospital and I did not think I could last that long. I should thank my BIL for getting me to the hospital in a record time by breaking all speed limits and skipping a couple of traffic signals! My water broke in the car. Krish was born 10 minutes after we reached the hospital! He was almost a car baby.
I remember the nurse in the birthing class telling all of us, mostly first time moms how the delivery is the easy part, what comes latter is the challenging phase. And fourteen months into this roller-coaster ride, where no two days are the same, I so agree with her.
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